Day 5: Bridal Showers and Bachelorettes, revisited

So all in all I think yesterday was a success. Everyone seemed to have a great time, especially the bride, who received loads of great gifts and ended up very drunk last night.

The cake was delicious! Marble cake, raspberry filling, butter cream icing…yum! The activity was well received–the bride loved it. And the mojitos were very refreshing. Of course  I came home with 95% of the booze, an eighth of the cake, tons of crayons and colored pencils and the biggest blisters  I have ever seen on the back of my ankles. So, who knew that when your feet start swelling in the heat when your pregnant they are going to swell in the heat for the rest of your life?? I sure as heck didn’t. The heels I wore there, that fit me when I left the house, were cutting their way down to my bone by then of the day. They hurt so bad I had to go out and buy ballet flats to wear to the bachelorette party that night.

Which reminds me, I wanted to give a shout-out to my husband (who may or may not read this blog) and say thank you, and I love you. Thank you for marrying me so that I never have to go out to places like Buckethead ever again, unless a friend asks me to, of course. Talk about tool and hooker central! There had to be at least 15 other bachelorette parties going on there at the same time and me and my bachelorette and the rest of the party were in awe of how these people dressed! Penis name tags, penis headbands–I was smacked in the head with a hot pink penis straw that one girl was whipping another girl with. At one point it looked like Jersy Shore vomited on the stage! Ugh!

The highlight of the evening was when one of the shot guys-men who whore themselves out pouring 3% alcohol shots in the mouths of drunk sluts off the front of the stage for no money and no tips-comes over to get is shot bottle refilled while I was waiting for a water. He leans on the bar next to me and says “is that your bachelorette over there?”  I say yes. He says, “she is not nearly drunk enough.” I say we’re working on it. ” And he says, and I quote, “You girls get up on the stage and send her my way and I’ll fill. her. up.” GROSS!!!!

What is comes down to is that the bride had a good time right? I think she did. I hope she did. Otherwise I have the image of that buckethead burned into my memory for all eternity for nothing.

Congratulations Nicole! Can’t wait for the wedding!